Existential angst as a WDW fan?

Nia

New member
re long waits, we are ok with only doing the fp attractions and leaving to chill out around the pool. We dont try to do it all anymore. Sometimes reading too much on Disney forums can build up negativity too, that's how I felt last time. I felt wow, it is still awesome to be here!

I can't imagine what it is to only go to Disney vacations all the time and I don't even view it as break from Disney - just exploring other things! Go for it, try something new!
 

bnoble

he's right
To address a few points folks have made:

For at least the past dozen years, we've taken three weeks of vacation a year, with two weeks/year not at Disney. As a family, we've been to Paris, Hawaii, Sedona/Grand Canyon, DC, the Smokies, the Dells, Williamsburg, HHI, OBX, etc. We've also probably spent at least as many days in non-Disney amusement/water parks than Disney ones over the years. So, this isn't a case of "shake it up a bit and don't do Disney al the time," nor is it an issue with the time generally.

The money isn't an issue either. We are blessed with being in a situation in which our means exceed our wants. That's largely because we don't want much: we aren't have-to-renovate-the-house people, and the late-80s vibe our house has had since we've moved into it makes that clear. We drive cars into the ground. We've lived in the house we are in for 14 years, and arguably still haven't completely furnished it. Both kids are getting the in-state tuition discount at Michigan, which saves me about $1/4M over the other options they were considering, collectively. (Thanks again to Berkeley for not admitting my daughter. As an alumnus, that would have been tricky.) And as I mentioned, I don't mind spending Disney-level money on meals and hotels, and do so often. It's not so much that Disney meals and hotels are expensive as it is they are poor values for the money.

Finally, we've long ago embraced the "Vacation Kingdom" model of visiting the Resort. We spend a lot of time at the pools, hanging around the resorts, enjoying time on the lakes, walking along the pathways, sitting on the rocking chairs people-watching, etc. I'm even a founders' club member of the Bay Lake Society.

So, the time and the money are not issues in and of themselves, Disney is far from the only thing we do, and we are already more relaxed about how this all works.

I just don't know why I keep doing it.

As I alluded to above, I'm in the midst of re-examining pretty much every facet of my life. And for most of those things, I've either figured out why I want to keep doing what I've been doing, or I've figured out what I'd rather do instead. For some reason, WDW is still in the not-sure-why but not-giving-it-up pile.
 

DopeyRunr

the jeweled acrobats only perform amazing stunts f
I'm in the midst of re-examining pretty much every facet of my life.
Are you sure you're not just coming here to justify your intent to purchase a sports car and abandon your family for a trophy wife? ;)
 

bnoble

he's right
I know you are trying to be funny here, but I am in the midst of a separation, not living at home, and likely headed for divorce.

So thanks for that.
 

Nia

New member
bnoble, I am sorry you are going through hard time. I hope you manage to figure it out.
 

pixarprincess

New member
sorry to hear how rough things are for you right now! I know its cliche but hang in there.

I think a lot of the reason we all come back is the nostalgia. The happy memories we want to experience again. And, that is ok. But its also ok to say it is time to move on to something else.
 

mgarbowski

Well-known member
First, Brian, I'm so sorry to hear about your larger troubles. I wish for you and your family to work things out for the best.

On the WDW front:

So, the time and the money are not issues in and of themselves, Disney is far from the only thing we do, and we are already more relaxed about how this all works.

I just don't know why I keep doing it.

As I alluded to above, I'm in the midst of re-examining pretty much every facet of my life. And for most of those things, I've either figured out why I want to keep doing what I've been doing, or I've figured out what I'd rather do instead. For some reason, WDW is still in the not-sure-why but not-giving-it-up pile.
I think we can over-analyze our leisure choices, and when we do so, there's a one-way bias. We are all aware of habits, and most self-aware people try to police them. We're on the lookout for instances where we keep doing the same things even though we no longer get the same enjoyment. Whether it is season tickets for a sports team, or a subscription to an Opera company, or an annual WDW trip, we occasionally remember to take an account and ask "do I still enjoy this as much as I used to and is it worth the time and $$ I devote to it?" That's good and healthy. But then we expect it to be subject to rational analysis and it doesn't always work that way.

Sure, I personally just listed multiple ways WDW seems to be giving me less every year, and lots of folks here did the same. But I still want to go, even if my Pro/Con list doesn't tally positive. I could very well be misreading you, but it sounds like maybe you might be trying to figure out why you still feel an urge to go even though logically it seems you shouldn't still want to as much as you once did. If that's the case I suggest you stop trying to figure it out and just acknowledge sometimes you want something and aren't sure why.

Or I'm completely off base and WTF do I know. But good luck.
 

richdi89

New member
Brian, I'm so sorry to hear about your situation. I know we don't really know each other, but over the many years of reading your posts on TGM and here, I feel like like the connection is more personal and familiar, even though we've never met. Please know I truly hope that you are able to work things out.

As for the Disney front, for me, a Disney vacation is a complete escape from reality for me. I know that it's all marketing, but to me, when I am there, Cinderella truly lives in that castle. All my dreams can come true! I know sitting here as I type this on my computer that is not the case BUT when I am there it is. When I am at Disney my everyday life gets left behind with all my daily worries. I think that is why I crave to go. I need to be in a planning phase of a trip or I feel empty, or lost, or that I'm missing something. We have created a lot of amazing family memories at Disney. My daughter considers it her second home. My family thinks we are crazy Disney freaks, they just don't get the pull but for us it feels right.
 

DopeyRunr

the jeweled acrobats only perform amazing stunts f
I know you are trying to be funny here, but I am in the midst of a separation, not living at home, and likely headed for divorce.

So thanks for that.
Oh my god Brian I'm so sorry, both for what you're going through and my horrible joke... Clearly in very poor taste. My deepest apologies.
 

bnoble

he's right
For what it's worth, my current situation is largely my own fault, so don't feel too bad for me.

it sounds like maybe you might be trying to figure out why you still feel an urge to go even though logically it seems you shouldn't still want to as much as you once did.
I think it might be the opposite. I don't really feel like going back, and I'm wondering how much that's generic ennui and how much is "Yeah, I'm done with this for a while," because that close friend I mentioned really enjoyed it. I went through this with live sports in the Fall before I figured out that it was the depression talking and not "I don't like this anymore."
 

nolarookie

Well-known member
I’m sorry, Brian. I would just echo what others, particularly Mark, have said. WDW is still in the mix for us because of nostalgia, wonderful memories, and still a reliably good time, despite changes there and within our lives.

Anyway, good luck with everything.
 

runDisneygirl

New member
Brian, I'm sorry to hear. I stood by my brother as he just went through this too a few years back. When he was in the midst of it, everything seemed at odds. He questioned a lot of things, and rightfully so. A lot was at stake. So I just want to tell you that now he's about 6 years post-crap, and he can look back on the good things (like their vacations) and it's looking brighter again.

So again I say the same thing, take a break. WDW is not going anywhere. It'll always be there, waiting for you. And when you do return with the kids, I hope you return at a time when the past is past and you have all good memories and nostalgia instead - with the kids. It'll all be good. Just be patient. Easier said than done, I totally know.

And if you can sneak in a solo trip some time, just to test the waters for yourself personally, maybe it's not the worst thing in the world? Create some of your own personal memories. Of just you. Nobody else to nag you, beg you, or annoy you! Do what you want to do.... maybe it'll be a different trip altogether and then you won't question it so much? Just another thought. Best wishes to you.
 

paxsarah

New member
I'm sorry to hear about your personal situation, Brian - I've always held you in high regard as a fellow poster on various fora and I hope you come out the other side feeling better.

As for Disney ennui, I can see where you're coming from. I'd probably simply not plan a trip for a while, and wait until I get an urge to go back even if it takes a few years. It's not the end of the world if it never happens. Or at that point, do a no-expectations trip and see if it clicks.
 

MimiPlusThree

New member
I just don't know why I keep doing it.
Here's why. There are two reasons.

First, beyond the happy memories of Disney trips past, beyond the role of Disney trips in your family's history, being a Disney fan is a part of your identity, and with some fundamental other parts of your identity in flux you're holding on tighter to this part, notwithstanding the shortcomings of what wdw currently offers.

Second, you know how to do wdw really well (how to make the most of your time-share conversion, credit card and travel rewards, AP and TiW; which attractions, entertainment and dining venues you enjoy; how to optimize wdw scheduling/FP+/ADR systems, etc.); despite the hassles it's not particularly hard for you to do, and, independent of the enjoyment you get from the resort, attractions, entertainment and dining, there's the pleasure that comes just from doing something well, which is difficult to give up in its own right, all the moreso when we feel we might've messed up something else.

I hope this helps.
 

baloocrew

New member
Feeling the same way. And today's news about parking fees pretty much sealed the deal for me. Not because it prices us out of a Disney stay, but just because I'm kind of over it all.

I love Disney, and have my whole life. I grew up about an hour an 1/2 from Disney and have loved going to the parks...from my first visit at ~3, through my college days being a Four Season pass holder (seriously, BEST DEAL EVER!), visiting with my new fiancé, my new babies, and my kids as they have grown older on many family vacations. My son and I will go in April for a mom/son trip, and I cannot wait, but that will be our last time....for a while. I'm just done. Disney has made it too hard, and certainly overpriced for what they are delivering. I've subscribed to the whole "they can do it as long as people continue to pay" ideology, but I think we've crossed a line. For me, it's no longer worth what they are charging, as fun as it is. And it's not that we can no longer afford the prices, I just don't want to pay what they are charging, not when Disney keeps upping the price and pulling perks. It's a bummer. Maybe I'll feel differently after a little time away. Or not... Thankful for the memories we made.
 

Pres.Merkin

New member
Below is my post on the resorts thread summing up how I felt after hearing about the parking increase. Thanks for letting me know this thread existed.

For what it’s worth I’d like to add my two cents in here. In the interest of full disclosure, I was fortunate enough to visit WDW twice in 2017. Both times I flew and stayed onsite using MDE and Disney transportation. Now even though I’m a relatively short nine hour drive away, thanks to an abundance of airline miles I will continue to fly so the parking fees don’t impact me as of now. I will say if I was to drive or rent a car id be moved to stay off site after this change. This latest move aggravates me.


Over the past few weeks I have been caught between my heart telling me to go back to WDW and my brain telling me to use my 2018 vacation dollars someplace else. To me a trip to WDW is an escape from the real world, and up till recently I felt like Disney understood that and was even a partner in this mindset. Disney was always there to say “hey we know you need a break, and we are here for you and we will do everything we can for you”. Now I fully understand in the back of my mind that Disney has always done what they can to save and make a buck but it just feels like recently things have gone a bit too far at the expense of customer experience.

I took my last trip in September of 17, and before that was January of 17, and I could tell a difference in September. While it didn’t seem like the park was any more crowded the lines seemed much longer. I’m well aware of the reduced capacity that Josh has been talking about for a while (even if others are just now catching on). Reduced operating hours, increased number of upcharge events, and things like that are one thing but when I keep seeing more downtime on rides, and reports of dirty parks coupled with moves like resort parking fees, well it just feels like Disney giving me the finger and saying don’t come back we don’t care somebody will pay it and put up with our crap. I’m a laid back guy and I can put up with a lot, annual price increases don’t both me, tiered pricing on hotels and tickets don’t bother me. But I guess I’m at the point where I just don’t feel like I’m getting enough back for what I put in given the perceived attitude of Disney operations.
I’m still debating if I should book a trip for early 2019, I really want to, but there’s a lot of this world I haven’t seen.

In short, Disney I don’t want to stop visiting. I want to come spend my vacation time and money on you, please just give me a reason to visit, please make me feel appreciated. If not maybe it is time to visit Italy, or Norway or Germany instead of their pavilions in EPCOT.

I apologize for the long and whiny post, it’s just some thoughts that have been on my mind and I finally had to put it out there.
 

Pres.Merkin

New member
As a follow up, Brian I got divorced 2 years and 1 month ago I got divorced. Im not going to say it was the best thing to ever happen, but I will say it turned out to be better than the situation I was in. Its a dark time to be in for sure and no way around it... It sucks to go through. But when the dust has settled things tend to have a way of working themselves out.

I could write a very long post about the two trips I mention in my above post both of which were post divorce, and the therapeutic value of them but thats another story for another time.
 

Kbcmom

New member
I've dealt with low-level depression on/off for most of my life. Even at its mildest, depression sucks the joy out of things I normally love to do, making it hard to determine what I really *want* to do at times. My brain's reaction seems to be to indicate that I don't want to do anything, which makes it hard to tease out the things that would make me happier if I 'took the plunge'. It might help to schedule (even if it's just in your mind) a WDW trip for a far-off date, and see where your feelings re: the trip go over time.
 

mgarbowski

Well-known member
I think it might be the opposite. I don't really feel like going back, and I'm wondering how much that's generic ennui and how much is "Yeah, I'm done with this for a while," because that close friend I mentioned really enjoyed it. I went through this with live sports in the Fall before I figured out that it was the depression talking and not "I don't like this anymore."
Well, being wrong once is no reason to stop trying and give up on a chance to be wrong twice so here I go...

You're looking at your friend (or family member?) who is going through a rough patch like you are, and WDW has recently helped them get through it, even if just a temporary respite. You'd like that for yourself, but looking at Disney right now you don't see how that would happen for you. Looking at it this way, I say don't try to chase that person's luck/magic/experience. That's likely to fail twice over. I think you should just pick an activity or destination that does appeal to you now and do that.

That's my $.06 anyway. Good luck.
 

momof2boys

New member
Brian- very sorry to hear that. Wishing you and your family all the best.

Regarding the thread topic, I love Disney- adore many aspects. We haven't been since Nov. 2016 and can not wait for our trip in a few weeks. However, as Brandi and Chrystal mentioned, it is very stressful to plan a trip. We decided to do a quick 4 day trip to Universal in May 2017 and we had a blast! The minute by minute planning was not needed, we were able to see everything we wanted and be back to the pool to swim and enjoy some cocktails. Granted, I know there are only 2 parks and they are much smaller. I am a true Type A- planner and planning my WDW trip makes me anxious, the FP, ADRs, strategy of your park plans. I feel as if I can't be spontaneous. It also seems that Disney is nickel and diming everything these days. As if our vacations don't cost enough! I love it there and we will continue to go back as much as we can. However, as others have mentioned, there is a whole world out there that I want my boys to experience it.
 
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