I'm just saying...

Mrs Darling

Well-known member
I wish it was possible to make people more empathetic. I know it's a pointless wish.
Not pointless. ❤ It’s a lovely wish that actually points to the root cause of so many problems in society.
I believe that most people have great capacity for empathy & you can have an impact by modelling the behaviour & talking about it. Like the thread yesterday where bnoble talked about the dilemma of vacationing driving a low wage economy. That made me think about vacation choices from a different perspective.
 

George

wishes he had a pink frolicing llama under his tag
I wish it was possible to make people more empathetic. I know it's a pointless wish.
Not pointless. ❤ It’s a lovely wish that actually points to the root cause of so many problems in society.
I believe that most people have great capacity for empathy & you can have an impact by modelling the behaviour & talking about it. Like the thread yesterday where bnoble talked about the dilemma of vacationing driving a low wage economy. That made me think about vacation choices from a different perspective.
I'm pretty sure I've posted this here before, but Roger Ebert, musing about his life, wrote this shortly before he died. I aspire to it and fail more than I succeed.

"Kindness" covers all of my political beliefs. No need to spell them out. I believe that if, at the end of it all, according to our abilities, we have done something to make others a little happier, and something to make ourselves a little happier, that is about the best we can do. To make others less happy is a crime. To make ourselves unhappy is where all crime starts. We must try to contribute joy to the world. That is true no matter what our problems, our health, our circumstances. We must try. I didn't always know this, and am happy I lived long enough to find it out.
 
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magic1106

May be computer illiterate, but I figured out how
One of my beliefs is that most people are inherently good and don’t necessarily intend to hurt others.
-Things don’t always go according to plan.
-Having good intentions doesn’t always turn out in the way we expect.
-Your interpretation of someone’s intentions doesn’t always agree with their perspective.
-Usually, people are doing the best they can.

I know I have been fairly negative about others recently but I try to remind myself of this.

We need to remember to first BE KIND and have compassion for others.
 

bnoble

he's right
I found this book to be an excellent read, with actionable advice on developing empathy within:

My experience has been that by developing more empathy in myself, it has made it easier for me to communicate its importance and value to others, and to help others find it. Recognizing that most people who lack empathy do so at least in part out of their own pain and woundedness has helped.

Despite the title, these are not the "usual" twelve steps. However, those steps can also play a role in developing one's own emotional well-being, of which empathy is a part. As Fr. Keating puts it: "Whether you are recovering from alcohol or just from the human condition, everyone is called to recovery from something."
 

Not That Josh

Well-known member
I wish it was possible to make people more empathetic. I know it's a pointless wish.
Thanks for the responses. I have had this thought or a similar one before, but it has come more frequently this year. I think it can feel like a pointless wish sometimes because the most likely way to make someone more empathetic is shared personal experience which is hard to create.

Thanks for reminding me of the reasons it's not a pointless wish.
 

josh

Administrator
Staff member
This isn't very funny, but I am going to type it up anyway. My dad is about 80 and despite being an industrial engineer with a major aerospace company for 35+ years, could not turn on a computer to save his life. He might be able to figure out how to turn on the computer my parents have after pressing every button on it and screwing up a dozen things, but there's no way he could identify the power button on any other computer.

He also has a terrible time with remote controls, doesn't carry a cell phone, etc. One time when my mom was away on business for a few days, he somehow changed all of the menus to Spanish and put the tv guide up on the screen, so the actual tv playing portion is only in a very small box in the top corner of the screen while the rest is text about what's on. All you have to do to get out of that screen is press exit or the back button or something. He watched television like that with the little corner screen for three days. Technology has passed him by, like it will most of us, though I am personally hoping not quite to that extent. On the other hand, he is not on social media, which must be nice.

Anyway, he has had a terrible time with figuring out what is going on with headphones and specifically AirPods in the interviews they now do with people at home with the whole COVID thing and people not being in studio. He has asked my mom about the headphones and what they're for and why they're necessary during these interviews a dozen or more times. And I am talking to him last week and he brings up the headphones and what they're for with me. My mom has already mentioned his confusion with these headphones a couple of times in past conversations. And I'm trying to explain it's so the interviewee can hear the interviewer without it picking up the echo that you would hear if the audio was playing on the computer or whatever mechanism. Most people don't have professional studio equipment laying around. He does not understand any of this. "But why do they have little white ear things hanging out of their ears?" he insists.

So I send them a pair of AirPods to check out, thinking maybe if he sees the things and hears the audio sent from my mom's iPad or iPhone or something maybe he will get it. Well they get them and his first question is how to change the channel on them to a different radio station. So that idea has created more questions than answers.
 

George

wishes he had a pink frolicing llama under his tag
This isn't very funny, but I am going to type it up anyway. My dad is about 80 and despite being an industrial engineer with a major aerospace company for 35+ years, could not turn on a computer to save his life.
Wanda Sykes once Tweeted: “Whenever my parents want to send an e-mail they send two blank ones first.”

I get it. When cordless phones came out, my Aunt had to go to the store but was expecting a call. So she left and took the handheld receiver with her in her purse.

I used to teach tech classes to (almost exclusively older) real estate brokers. I had to create a class for beginners and called it “Where’s the ‘Any’ Key?” We do transactions now that are completely paperless (except for closings, which require wet signatures), and I wonder how those agents, some of whom did $50MM in sales per year, are coping.
 

josh

Administrator
Staff member
When smartphones were first coming out I was relatively certain that they were going to be a fad. I was not real sure why I would want 1% of the computing power on such a small device and just about anything I had going on could wait until I was seated reasonably in front of my desktop at home. I never had a smartphone in college and when I moved to Florida I kept my Nokia flip phone just in case I got stuck somewhere and needed to call mother to come rescue me. I think I had 300 minutes of talk time a month. Now my on-screen time on my iPhone 11 Max or whatever it is called is 25 hours a day. It's disgusting really.
 

George

wishes he had a pink frolicing llama under his tag
Wow, that's some impressive solo sales volume! Of course, I'm going by our local real estate values, where 50MM would be about 300 sales.
Our average sales price is $1.4MM, and it’s not unusually for the heavy hitters to have several $3-5MM listings. I might trade being able to turn on a computer for that.
 

magic1106

May be computer illiterate, but I figured out how
This isn't very funny, but I am going to type it up anyway. My dad is about 80 and despite being an industrial engineer with a major aerospace company for 35+ years, could not turn on a computer to save his life. He might be able to figure out how to turn on the computer my parents have after pressing every button on it and screwing up a dozen things, but there's no way he could identify the power button on any other computer.

He also has a terrible time with remote controls, doesn't carry a cell phone, etc. One time when my mom was away on business for a few days, he somehow changed all of the menus to Spanish and put the tv guide up on the screen, so the actual tv playing portion is only in a very small box in the top corner of the screen while the rest is text about what's on. All you have to do to get out of that screen is press exit or the back button or something. He watched television like that with the little corner screen for three days. Technology has passed him by, like it will most of us, though I am personally hoping not quite to that extent. On the other hand, he is not on social media, which must be nice.

Anyway, he has had a terrible time with figuring out what is going on with headphones and specifically AirPods in the interviews they now do with people at home with the whole COVID thing and people not being in studio. He has asked my mom about the headphones and what they're for and why they're necessary during these interviews a dozen or more times. And I am talking to him last week and he brings up the headphones and what they're for with me. My mom has already mentioned his confusion with these headphones a couple of times in past conversations. And I'm trying to explain it's so the interviewee can hear the interviewer without it picking up the echo that you would hear if the audio was playing on the computer or whatever mechanism. Most people don't have professional studio equipment laying around. He does not understand any of this. "But why do they have little white ear things hanging out of their ears?" he insists.

So I send them a pair of AirPods to check out, thinking maybe if he sees the things and hears the audio sent from my mom's iPad or iPhone or something maybe he will get it. Well they get them and his first question is how to change the channel on them to a different radio station. So that idea has created more questions than answers.
My Dad is 80 as well and I think your Dad’s confusion with technology sounds about right.

My dad was a computer systems analyst for the government. He actually created a few programs for SSA. The computers that he worked with were the massive, warehouse-sized monstrosities of yesteryear. The small, all-in-one devices are impossible for him.

He has an IPad for browsing the web, reading emails, and playing games. I have showed him(and written down) how he could send me a text or FaceTime me in an emergency and he just can’t comprehend it. At least once a month, he hands me the IPad because he has “lost” the email he is reading and tells me to throw “the damn thing” away.
 

RetroCOTfan

Active member
My mom is only 65, but she's had several strokes and her brain function isn't what it used to be. She has an iPad that she uses for FaceTime (she lives far away), which is nice.

She also uses her iPad for Facebook, which is her sole source of news. You can imagine how not nice that is. It's frustrating to have to continually tell her that FB is not a good news source, that the memes her friends post are generally untrue (and probably made by troll farms in a former Soviet-bloc country), and that using the Safari "button" will let her get to real news sources. Good times.
 

DopeyRunr

the jeweled acrobats only perform amazing stunts f
Our average sales price is $1.4MM, and it’s not unusually for the heavy hitters to have several $3-5MM listings. I might trade being able to turn on a computer for that.
$50MM * 3% = enough income to hire someone to push the buttons
 
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