Inspired by Actual Events (and TV, Music, and Movies) - 12/29/18 to 1/4/19

3dadknight

Well-known member
[FONT=&quot](Read this part in a deep serious voice)[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]In the Disney Vacation system the hard working vacationers are divided into two distinct but equally important groups: The men and women who obsessively plan the vacations and the rest of their travel parties who simply tag along. These are their stories...[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot](DISCLAIMER: What you are about to read is based on actual events. Any likeness to any individuals living or dead is purely intentional. The situations may seem utterly ridiculous and may not have actually happened that way, but it’s my trip report and I’ll remember things the way I want. Get your own trip report if you want real stuff. I like to ramble on about things that have absolutely nothing to do with the trip, or disclaimers for than matter. Anyway, it’s all kind of true.)[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]As I write this, our flight leaves in less than 10 hours. Despite planning this trip for almost a year, I still have to finish packing. I have, however, made sure that everyone else is packed. I am the planner, director, overseer, and implementer of our Family’s Disney vacations. Whether it has been some combination of 2, 3 or 5 of us, they have all gone very well over the years. This trip will be different. To our 11 year old daughter, 17 year old son and 19 year old son, my wife and I are adding daughter’s 11 year old friend, son’s 18 year old friend and older son’s 19 year old girlfriend. That’s 8 people total. We will have plenty of space in a Grand Villa at Old Key West. My goal is to make sure all these different personalities (including me) have a great time. It’s the busiest time of year at Disney and there has been some concern. [/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]Around Christmas, older son’s girlfriend was over. She’s been to Disney a few times with her parents and is quite excited about the trip. From the kitchen I overheard them talking in the living room. “Isn’t it going to be super crowded? Are we going to be able to ride anything?” “My Dad’s got this. He plans these trips like a military operation.” She still voiced skepticism, so I had to reassure her. [/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]“I’m like a major general with these trips.”[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]“A major general?”[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]“Yes! A major general!” said my son.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]I explained:[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]“I am the very model of a modern major general[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]A day without a plan is something quite heretical.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I know Epcot’s countries in order Geographical[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]And speak of Parks using language quite bombastical [/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I also am acquainted with ride order chronological,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Rope Drops and Fast Passes and touring ergonomical.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Eat where I am within the plan despite the food’s bad reviews.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]App Refreshing is a hobby. Won’t give up. I just refuse![/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]I can get the cheapest price for Passes - Gold and Platinum.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Stacking discounts on gift cards always seems to save a sum.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]In short in any matter Walt Disney World vacational,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I am the very model of a modern major general.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]In my culinary reservations, I indeed take some pride.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Pick where I’ll eat six months from now with three devices side by side.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Quite accurate my guesses of park hours are throughout the year.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]At 60 days, I choose our rides. Of high wait times I have no fear.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]My plan each day is well thought out so we don’t have to wait a lot.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Speed, precision and some luck means we are where the crowds are not.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]My obsession with this planning might seem to some impractical,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]But a Disney World vacation needs a skill set that is tactical.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]Like Washington, Napoleon, Alexander and Hannibal,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]We take Epcot, Studios, Kingdoms Magic and Animal.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]In short in any matter Walt Disney World vacational,[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I am the very model of a modern major general.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]I wake the troops before dawn to brief them on the strategy.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]They roll their eyes but nod their heads in understanding dutifully.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]They have no doubt, to follow me is the course most practical.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I know all the parks’ cartography, even topographical.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I’ve surfed the internet for my pre-trip reconnaissance.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]The air about me at rope drop is one of certain no-nonsense.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Nostrils flared, elbows out, with my family first in line[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]We run the paths as if Pamplona and we are all bovine.[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]At day’s end, the feeling’s been one most categorical:[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]Satisfied and exhausted, best described euphorical.[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]In short in any matter Walt Disney World vacational[/FONT]
[FONT=&quot]I am the very model of a modern major general.”[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot](If you ever meet me in person, you can decide whether this is one of the true events.)[/FONT]
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[FONT=&quot]The trip begins ...[/FONT]
 

revral

New member
O.M.G!!!! That was hysterical. I love it. And that is an amazingly well done rewrite of "I Am The Very Model of a Modern Major General" from the Pirates of Penzance by Gilbert and Sullivan.
 

Anne

Well-known member
Wow! Your best song yet. It needs to be the official Disney Patter song. My brother has performed the original and he will love your version :)
 

3dadknight

Well-known member
Thanks, All. Having an exhausting blast. Day 1 will be a two part special presentation of “(Murphy’s) Law & (Dis)order.” Day 2 was so long, it may take a Trilogy. Day 3, today, hasn’t even begun. Only 3 of us are awake at 10:15 a.m. it was all part of the plan.

Have a Happy New Year!!
 

Anne

Well-known member
Hope you had a great new years eve!!!! All the photos I saw online looked like sardines, I hope it wasn't as bad as that most of the night.
 

3dadknight

Well-known member
(Murphy’s) Law & (Dis)Order

“Anything that can go wrong will go wrong”
- Col. John Stapp, USAF




December 29, 2018, 06:00 CST


My phone blasted the opening of “The Circle of Life” as it does every morning. This morning, however, it was a much anticipated cry. We were on our way to Disney World! But something was wrong with that familiar opening. A buzz and two quick beeps interrupted the Zulu lyrics. I picked up my phone to silence the alarm and saw a new text:


“Your Southwest flight, on December 29 from MSY, now departs at 1:35 p.m. We're sorry for the delay.”


I needed no coffee to wake up. That text was enough. Our three guests were meeting us at the airport at 8:15, and our first FastPass window (7DMT) began at 2;45. The last (Thunder Mountain) ended at 5:45. Our new scheduled arrival time was 3:50. I had a lot to do. First, I woke each family member to tell them they could sleep in after they notified their respective guests of the change. Second, I opened The App and got to work on the FastPasses. Third, I still had to finish packing. 11:00 would be our new target time to meet at the airport.
My fingers frantically refreshed and refreshed. By the time we reached the airport, I had managed to schedule 6 people on Mine Train for 7:30 and all eight of us on Thunder and Splash afterwards. Not bad. I’d work on the last two for Mine Train as often as I could.


So, seven members of our party had arrived by 11:15. Number 8, middle child’s friend would be another 30 minutes. Older son waited in the line for 40 minutes to check a few bags. At minute 39 we learned that youngest’s friend had a large bottle of contact lens solution in her carry-on. Without ever seeing the old Hertz commercial, middle son performed an impeccable impression of O.J. to get that bag to his brother just in time. Once they rejoined the rest of the group before the TSA line, I received another text:


“Your Southwest flight, on December 29 from MSY, now departs at 2:15 p.m. We're sorry for the delay.”


New arrival time: 4:50 p.m. We had until 8:45 to make Mine Train with the grace period. There was time. During our overpriced underthemed lunch for 8 at the airport, I managed to get the last two Mine Train FastPasses. We then proceeded to our gate to wait for our flight.




By 1:30, all of us were getting antsy. Many of us were cranky, and it was getting very crowded around our gate since two separate flights were scheduled to leave from it within the next hour. Among the hundreds of people standing or pacing around, I saw a vaguely familiar face. It was someone I had been in school with 25 years ago. He looked utterly bored and alone. He spotted me as well. He wandered over to me. I would have preferred a look, nod and half smile of recognition from across the room. For 20 minutes I was cornered by him and learned of his pride in his “success” since school. Loud, boisterous and profane best described him. Oh yeah, and drunk. I eventually managed to escape. We would be on the plane soon. We lined up in order with the “A” group numbers 30 to 37. My “old friend” was 38. While we all shuffled into the plane, he tried entertaining himself by loudly identifying my family by my first and last name as the cause of slow movement. Then he tried telling me “war stories” of his courtroom experiences. I politely told him that I was on vacation with my family and had no interest in that conversation and took my seat with my son and his girlfriend directly behind my wife and the two girls. Suddenly, like a five year old, the “old friend” was kneeling on his seat in front of my family pointing his finger at me and emphatically declaring over my daughter’s head that I would indeed listen to him. I was enraged- mother grizzly-protecting-cubs enraged. We were already delayed and the last thing I needed was to escalate the incident and be removed from the flight for mauling this guy. I found the strength to ignore him. He proceeded to “save seats” for two women that he had apparently been drinking with for the past 4 hours. Southern Divas with LOUD drawls who stumbled around like we hit major turbulence, though we had not yet pulled away from the gate. An already long story short, they were all the first to leave the plane (delaying the exit of everyone aboard) once we landed at MCO. Some incident with alcohol they brought aboard required a “chat” with security. Justice was served.


Finally in Orlando, two by two, we headed to the fake monorail. There was one waiting. We all hurried aboard before the doors shut ... except the two youngest girls of the group. Through the glass, we frantically told them to take the next train. As we pulled away, we could not tell whether they understood. Thankfully, among us my daughter has more experience flying into MCO than anyone but me. They were on the next train.


Then we all split up again. The older kids took DME and the rest of us went to the Budget rental counter with a reservation for a minivan that may or may not have fit our entire party plus luggage. It was there, after a 30 minute wait, that I had a Seinfeld moment. “Let me check to make sure the vehicle is here,” I was told. “What do you mean? I have a reservation.” “Yes, but so does everyone else, it may be 30 minutes before the van is here,” was the reply. “What’s the point of my reservation if the car isn’t here? I even called when my flight was delayed to make sure it would be here.” “Yes, but that is not how it works.” I summoned that inner strength from the airplane to not escalate things further. We finally had a van 25 minutes later. The older kids had already departed on DME.


(To be continued....)
 

BSS

Member
Oh my! Hopefully this is a "things can only get better from here" start.

I had a very similar experience with Budget over the summer (not at MCO), only they were never able to produce a car remotely like what I had reserved. I had reserved a large SUV for my daughter and I to drive cross country with a few pieces of light furniture and all they could offer when I arrived was a Nissan Maxima. Ummm...no. Like you, I asked what was the point of my reservation and I was basically told they couldn't give me what they didn't have and I was out of luck. I rented elsewhere. It was very frustrating, but had I just arrived with a large group at an airport it would have been so much worse. Budget doesn't seem to know what the word reservation means.
 

jillyb

unsure of the release date for the dumbo anniversa
Whoa! That's not a very good way to start a vacation! Hope it only gets better from there! Seriously, what is the point of requesting/reserving a specific type vehicle if they can't guarantee you'll get what you requested? It's like an ADR. It's not really a reservation, it's just saying you'll have something.
 
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