Somebody Tell a Joke!

[George]

Thought I'd start a thread because some of my favorites don't necessarily involve puns. Feel free to use these at Laugh Floor.

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A classics professor goes to a tailor to get his trousers mended. The tailor asks: “Euripides?” The professor replies: “Yes. Eumenides?"

 

[vicki_c]

Lol. Good one.

 

[stevenmilz]

If you've seen Josh's twitter feed lately, asking for jokes is NOT a good idea...

 

[George]

If you've seen Josh's twitter feed lately, asking for jokes is NOT a good idea...

Ha! Here's one just for you, Steve:

A programmer’s wife sends him to the grocery store with the instructions, “Get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.” He comes home with a dozen loaves of bread.

 

[stevenmilz]

A programmer’s wife sends him to the grocery store with the instructions, “Get a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen.” He comes home with a dozen loaves of bread.

+1.

 

[Strangeite]

"We don't serve your kind here! Get out!!" says the bartender.

A faster than light neutrino walks into a bar.

 

[George]

A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says: “Five beers, please.”

 

[vicki_c]

That programmer joke is awesome.

 

[George]

That programmer joke is awesome.

That could also work with a pedant.

 

[TheTraveler]

So Mickey Mouse goes to court one day to file for divorce from Minnie. The judge tells Mickey " I don't think you should leave Minnie just because she might be a little crazy". Mickey looks up at the judge and says "I never said she was crazy, I said she was f@&%ing Goofy!"

 

[Pampered Mom]

Geez, the ones DS9 was telling me today are lame in comparison.


Why did the quarterback complain to the waitress? There was a fly in his Super Bowl.

 

[Janine]

A termite walks into a bar and asks, 'where is the bar tender'

 

[George]

A Buddhist monk approaches a hotdog stand and says: “Make me one with everything."

 

[pfalcioni]

I really had to think about the Buddhist one. Good thing you didn't tell it to me in person, you would have gotten to see my "dumb blonde doesn't get the joke" look.

These are all so funny! Love the Neutrino joke too, even though it was a little quick for me.

 

[BeckyW]

My lame addition that makes me giggle:



Why did Sara fall off the swings?
Because she had no arms.



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Knock knock (I'll answer myself)
Who's there?
Not Sara

 

[Strangeite]

Love the Neutrino joke too, even though it was a little quick for me.

The thing about faster-than-light jokes is that they never get old.

 

[pfalcioni]

The thing about faster-than-light jokes is that they never get old.

hahahahaha!!!!

 

[Strangeite]

OK, this was is a little nerdy (and coming from me that is saying something).

Knock knock.
Whos there?
Doctor.
Doctor Who?
EXTERMINATE!!!

 

[neffernie]

OK, this was is a little nerdy (and coming from me that is saying something).

Knock knock.
Whos there?
Doctor.
Doctor Who?
EXTERMINATE!!!

I'll have to tell this one to my daughter. She will love it.

Ok. My lame joke:

Why do kangaroo mom's hate the rain?

Because the kids have to play inside.

 

[George]

Ok. My lame joke:

Why do kangaroo mom's hate the rain?

Because the kids have to play inside.

I should've titled this thread, "Somebody Tell a Good Joke!"